WLD, that's one reason why I used the "I'm not sure" response. It's a (relatively) nonthreatening 'question' and I've often noticed that responding to a question with another (especially if it is not a "predictable" response) causes the instigator to 'check their stride' so to speak and actually think about their next step. Not always successful but I've not yet come a cropper with it.

Peace, I too was brought up to exhibit what were regarded as the norms of civilised behaviour, mostly by my mum but most of the adults around me shared similar attitudes. You stood up for adults of either sex and gave them your seat. As an adult you did ditto for women, opened doors for them, walked on the outside of footpaths, helped them up into and down from trams. I remember as a young adult giving up my seat for a women about my own age and the seat was promptly sat in by a callow youth; I had no hesitation about helping him up (by the earlobe) with the comment that the seat had been intended for another. Much of that got beaten out of me by close proximity to radical feminists but the oldest habits die hardest and I still open doors for people.

Cheers, Rowan