This is the version sung by Andy Stewart.

Noo whan A want tae lauchin' A think o' tha scene
Whan a body roon cam o'er tae cleen
Boot cairted thamsel's richt up tae tha e'en
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre.
Wee Wullikie, The Rocher, and Wallie tha Doo,
The aul wife hersel' an' Teeny McCrew;
And naebody ele that coud haff aff tha plou.
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre.

Siccin a sotter was a' body in
Five mile awa ye could hear tha din
E'en tha verra cou had tae grin
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre

Noo tha bobby cam doon tae quell doon the soun
The craiter gat lost whar the rucks hae thair foun
He fell intae tha midden and was liken tae droon
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre
Tha weicht o' him syne sent tha barra in bits
Tha whirl cairried on an tha aul wife it hits
Losh ye shoud hae seen hou she did tha splits
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre

Siccin a sotter was a' body in
Five mile awa ye could hear tha din
E'en tha verra cou had tae grin
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre

Tha whisky gaed roon Tammy flee' in tha doo
And aye as they drank tha mair thay gat fou
Tha anerly anes souber tha cauf an tha cou
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre
Tammy rowt oot ring tha bell fer mair
Syne tuggit tha cou's tail an poud oot tha haer.
She kickit oot he gaet up in tha air
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre

Siccin a sotter was a' body in
Five mile awa ye could hear tha din
E'en tha verra cou had tae grin
At tha muckin' o' Geordie's byre

Oh such a stramash was there to see,
Five miles away you could hear the melee
Even the domesticated animals were consumed with glee,
At the cleansing of George's cowshed.

Oh, oh oh, Siccin a sotter was a' body in
Five mile awa ye could hear the din
Even the vera cou had tae grin
At the muckin' o' Geordie's byre