Guys, if she only knew me as I really am...no problemo. Alas, we live in different worlds, as it were, and she probably never will.

I happen to know that the only reason Spaw can lick his eyebrows is this: the distance between his eyebrows and his upper lip is about half an inch! Yep, we are talkin' about a real lowbrow here. His brow ridges make a gorilla's look minor in comparison. Then there is his ass...but no...I won't go into any particulars about that. It's just too awful to even talk about.