No one in the North East confuses Gateshead with Newcastle; they are distinct and entirely separate entities, divided by The Tyne, and no matter how many bridges they've built over the years, they are no closer today than than they were a hundred years ago when, having arrived on the Newcastle quayside from far across the sea, some wag looked south across the Tyne and said: "How far away England looks from here."

But who the hell came up NewcastleGateshead?