Here are the 25 skills that really count:

1. Knowin' how to climb a tree in 5 seconds or less.
2. Knowin' how to climb a multi-story brick wall in 8 seconds or less.
3. Knowin' how much plastic explosive to use to blow open a locked steel door or a safe without doin' too much collateral damage or gettin' yer own head blown off.
4. Knowin' how to lay down accurate bursts from a Tommy gun up to a distance of 50 yards.
5. Knowin' how to not waste yer ammunition.
6. Knowin' how to use a knife, a tire iron, or anything else that comes to hand if you got to.
7. Knowin' how to chat up a good-lookin' dame so she thinks it's her idea...
8. Knowin' how to split a scene so damn fast that all they see is yer dust.
9. Knowin' how to dispose of a shady loan shark or a bad lawyer.
10. Knowin' how to talk yer way out of a jam.
11. If 10 don't work, knowin' how to fight yer way out of a jam.
12. Knowin' how to delay the rent without gettin' evicted.
13. Knowin' how to deal with cops and confuse their minds.
14. Knowin' how to get out of any hold.
15. Knowin' how to clean, oil, and load a gun, and then knowin' how to use it...but that goes without sayin'.
16. Knowin' how to please a good-lookin' dame, but keep her guessin'.
17. Knowin' how to say just enough, but not too much.
18. Knowin' how to hold yer liquor.
19. Knowin' how much fruit is enough.
20. Knowin' how to identify counterfeit bills.
21. Knowin' a real clue from one that ain't.
22. Knowin' how to lie so smooth that almost everyone believes you (Bill Clinton was good at that...real good...I almost think he might have a little ape in him somewhere).
23. Knowin' when enough is ENOUGH!!!
24. Knowin' that fine line between manslaughter, justifiable homicide, and first degree murder.
25. Knowin' how to forge a passport if you got to.

Now just take them 25 rules...and apply 'em across the board to any situation that involves:

1. business activities
2. women
3. other leisure activites
4. yer relatives

You will be on safe ground.

- Chongo