Well, Ol' Santa was wondering a little about it.

Father...Father?...Christmas could pull the whole Bean clan up through Space and Time as a special pressie for you, but would much rather not do so. They were a remarkably nasty bunch, and what they left out as a treat every Christmas I just don't like to think about even now. No, Santa didn't partake and they simply didn't get the hint of the coal in their stockings, year after year.

Perhaps you'd care to try one of our regional specialities (tinned for the journey, but still tasty enough) such as squid liver pate or some freeze-dried muktuk? (I'm sorry, but there was no fresh haddock to be had at the dock.)