Most of the rules don't seem too bad, although it's a little excessive. But the part about becoming background music is positively offensive. What is it - are these guys too cheap to buy a jukebox, so they have to get in unpaid musicians? If you go somewhere to listen to live music, then listen to live music. If you've been hired to play live music there, you'd get pissed off if everyone was talking and no-one could hear you. And if you want background music, stick a sodding tape on!

I can't think of anything more soul-destroying than turning up to play, and finding no-one's interested in what I'm playing, and no-one in the whole place is listening. Screw that. And if it's unpaid, why the hell put up with it? If you're not getting paid, tell noisy gits to shut the fskc up, or just pack up and say sod'em.

Grab.