Alexander the Great invited the famous philosopher Diogenes to talk to him.
Diogenes had detached himself from the need for material things and so lived a life of radical freedom; instead of clothes, he used to wear a barrel.
'Do have you any requests, Philospher?' the emperor asked.
'Just move a bit to the left, Emperor, you are blocking the sunlight'.

Alexander the Great summoned a notorious pirate, recently captured, to him.
'I'm just doing the same thing you are, but on a smaller scale' said the pirate.