I think it went

I wish I were blade of grass, tee hee
I wish I were a blade of grass, tee hee
For if I were a blade of grass, When my truelove sat down, I'd tickle her arse, tee hee.

The other verses were equally unromantic.

I emphasise, I only need more details to help me flesh out an archive on an event when this song became embedded in the team's mythology. I wouldn't dreeeeam of singing it. (Perhaps)