But scrapple is vile. The texture is kind of soft and mushy. The taste is indescribably awful. To smell it cooking makes me feel ill. It's like Irish white pudding gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Sure sounds crunchy to me. Sounds like you were made to eat poorly prepared scrapple as a child and it scarred you for life. You are not dissing scrapple; you're insulting it. I've had food I've not enjoyed, but I never had to insult it.

Does mayonaise make you angry?

-Greg