This was forwarded to me from my "commie mommie"...
"Canada has an Immigration Problem Too"
The flood or American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left- leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommmon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing the fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, shoes acerage borders North Dakota. "he producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfiled erected higher fences but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not really effective," he said, "The liberals still got though and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are perticurly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,' an Ontaroi patrolman said, "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Npa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been ciculating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be required to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingeious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Cnadian perscription drugs. After catching half a dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Candian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the 50's.
"If they can't identify the accordian player on Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Saradon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals but the Canadian economy just can't support them," one Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors doen one country need."
The End
Yeah, I'm sure that LH could have written this one a well or better but, hey???