My country is perfect, we're never to blame
although we are often provoked.
Some slight rough and tumble is part of the game,
when the odd football fan may get croaked.
But these foreigners don't see the joke

Prose interlude: But football volence in doesn't quite hit the spot. Start up a thread attacking it, I can't see anyone wading in to say it was a good thing, and part of the English way of life.

What I'm looking for is something that might have an equivalent charge to talking about guns in the American conntext - something that most English people think is great, and most other people see as disastrous. The idea that England has a useful role to play in Ireland might do, I suppose - it's interesting that the two most volatile topics on the Cat are gun laws and Ireland...

My country is perfect, we're eager to help
to sort out the world of today
Our neighbours are children, they cry and they yelp
and it's our job to order their play
and teach them to do what we say..

(Now that might mean the UK and Ireland, or the USA and Cuba.. ."If the cap fits, wear it", as they say.)