doesterr's story reminds me of THE NEW MOWN HAY

(which exists in lots of variants).

So he's gone down to her father's garden
That was walled all around, O,
But she gave him the slip, and she slipped inside, and she locked him out of doors, O,
She locked him out of doors, O!"

"O there is a cock in my father's garden
"That never will tread the hens, O!
"He struts all day and he flaps his wings, and I think you're just like him, O!
"I think you're just like him!"

Sometimes you just can't win. But then winning and losing only comes into it if you're treating it as a competitive sport."Scoring" - what a nauseating expression...