On paying rent-- I definitely agree.

We offered a similar option to a non-offspring young adult to help her get on her feet, and we phased in the rent part: The first expectation was that she participate in the work of the household "chores"; when that went fairly well the next expectation was that she attend a job-seekers' training course; at the conclusion of that and with the chores continuing somewhat reliably, the third hurdle was that we would work on her resume. (All this was discussed openly before she took us up on the offer; the parameters were refreshed regularly in "house meetings" once she took us up on it.)

This was the 90-day deal from which we offered that, if she wanted to continue past 90 days as a "roommate," she would share rental expenses as well. (We rent, so it was a sort of informal rent-sharing offer; in fact her room had a lease).


And this is where the rubber meets the road-- where it becomes obvious whether one is housing a moocher, or a dysfunctional person who needs professional help, or someone who just needs a hand to get on their feet (biological relationship or no), because if the tools are there and they aren't being used, clearly the person is beyond our capacity to help.

It turned out that we were pretty good at this kind of young-adult fostering; I would absolutely do it again under the right circumstances. In fact if any Catters had young-adult offspring who needed that, but they couldn't provide it themselves in their present home, I'd definitely consider it.

~Susan