Happy Birthday Fiona, I am resorting to this arcane method of communication to convey joyous wishes since i do not seem to have either a current address or telephone number!!!
So ,
May Bats and Duck-billed Platypi sing you to sleep and infest inhabit your dreams.
May all your prezzies be little (and expensive) except the drinkies may THEY be Large and Expensive.
May the Universe halt in your honour(or at least pause)
and may all obstructions be removed from your path, all your colleagues, especially your boss, act reasonably for just ONE bloody day!!