Are you getting all serious on me again, Amos? If so, I must remind you that the public embarrassment...or may I even say consternation...that is being caused daily by your dogged insistence on clinging to outdated methods of dress, coiffure, dialogue, and general personal deportment is creating distress throughout the entire municipality you live in, and it is time for a change! For God's sake, get a lifestyle coach and put matters right.

Heed my advice on this one. That's what friends are for...they're there to make you aware of these things when others will not. ;-)