Being English is wearing a flat cap and understanding whippets. The flat cap is descended from ancient Celtic headgear (Welsh yr capp fflath, Old Irish chtheaph fhlahertheagh (pronounced "shufflebottom"), via the Roman gallea plana. One was found on a preserved leatherised old maid by gold diggers in Kate Moss, and carbon dated to 4000 years before a week last Thursday. Sadly her bicycle had been clamped, as she'd left it on the village green.

We learned a lot about ancient British history at school, what with King Arthur burning the cakes, and Hereford the Wake and Edgar the Allthings, and infangthief and outfangthief and piepowder and Trial by Ordure all that. I can't say it gave me much of a feeling of Englishness though, apart from the folks being mostly Irish 3 or 4 generations back, they never seemed to have much to say about people who worked in foundries and pits and tripe factories round Salford.