There's a vegetarian church in town where the minister says, "Lettuce pray". They're a pretty radishcal bunch, who don't carrot all for some of the other churches. In fact, they turnip their noses as the Lutherans, feeling down to their marrow that they are holier. There was a schism recently though, with some of the parishioners screaming at the Pasture, "You fraud! Yukon Gold from us and russet our cattle!"

I'd let you know how this theological skirmish ends, but I'm making my self sick to my stomach.