LtS, I DO have experience from ALL sides of this situation (except being the abuser).
Re: big guys, I said bring them but not in the scary-looking mode-- read my post again.
My remarks about the cat are not aimed at "making Diana happy" but at "keeping Diana ALIVE." Once she is really safe, of course the cat issue can be approached, which is why I pointed out that the SPCA can help in recovery IF she documents that the cat has been stolen or lost AND that she is the actual owner (vet records, etc) so that if the SPCA tries to recover the cat THEY don't get the same cop runaround Tami is getting, or lose a court case if the abuser feels like fighting over the issue as a way of getting at Diana.
I've also been the one whose pets and belongings were abused/destroyed by the abuser. (In my case it was not the spouse but another person in the household, who no longer lives here.) I do not give my advice lightly: One cat was kicked down stairwells so often that eventually his broken pelvis could not heal right. His lack of normal mobility eventually left hiom dead on the road, one bright sunny fall morning. He'd been my only comfort, and there was his bright, gold-orange long hair, riffling in the breeze, when I drove to work. I'm sure you can all tell me what I SHOULD have done about all that, now-- in the time period when that all happened, Mudcat was a source of pain for me, not a source for support.
When I say leave the cat for later, THAT is the memory that comes up, and still I say, PEOPLE FIRST.