Sorry I'm late. Stepped out my front door into a hole and twisted my ankle. Then I heard screaming in the backyard. I hobbled back there just as fast as I could and there was this huge, spinning hole with blue light hovering above it. Right on the edge of the hole were two sets of fingers, clutching the rim so hard the knuckles were white. I think that was where the screaming came from. Just as I started forward to see if I could lend a hand, the kitchen timer went off, so i had to hobble back into the house to take the apple cakes out of the oven. I had chopped and carried so much wood to get the stove fired up to bake those cakes, why, I couldn't just leave them there to burn. So I yelled "Be right back!" and and headed for the kitchen. Normally I'm pretty quick. Guess I wasn't thinking about how much the sprained ankle might slow me down. Anyway. I made it into the kitchen and pulled those cakes out - Boy, are they pretty and smell good too but they'll taste better after the flavors have blended for a day so you'll just have to wait, guys and gals - and I wanted MOM to see what her daughter had done so I hollered for her to come in the kitchen and lookysee, only she didn't answer and that is when I remembered the scream, the black hole and the white knuckles on the rim and thought, "OHSWEETJAYSUS I done lost Mom down a black hole and the boys 'll never forgive me.   What'll I do, what'll I DO!?" Then the thought occurred to me to google black holes, mebbe there is a way to fix this mess. So in spite of the pain I was in I made my way to my trusty new Mac and the hand of God and google led me to Wikipedia where I commenced to studying up on black holes as fast I could. It was pretty darn interesting, except I couldn't really understand a word, so I started clicking on all the little blue words, hopin' things would get simplier - Got a little distracted by all those links or I'da been here sooner - but anyways, I still didn't understand much of what I was reading. Then I noticed a pretty little picture that said it was a drawing of a worm hole dicovered by some guy that I think is a cousin to that feller who is the governor of California, well, their names were similiar anyway. Understand, by now I am feeling a tad frantic. Fortunately I know alot about worm holes, having been a trekky fan from the very beginning. I just hadn't realized before that they might have a relationship with black holes. When I read that worm holes need exotic matter to stay open so that a human could use them as short cut through the universe, I began to connect two and two.   I mean, it just stands to reason to think that the hole in my backyard was really a worm hole held open by all the exotic matters that get discussed, here, and she was very likely to have landed right back here on the MOAB side of the universe.

MOM? You around?