Hi Rob,

I can add this from the Harp mailing list, with some help of other parts of the Internet:

THE ENGLISH URBAN GARDEN
Fred Wedlock

Somehow the flowers never seem to grow,
  in my English country garden.
I'll tell you now of some reasons that I know
  and those I miss I hope you'll pardon.
Nettles in the flowerbeds, sparrow droppings on the shed,
  stick to the walls and harden.
And too many things with lots of legs and wings,
  in my English country garden.

I took a look at an illustrated book
  showing every garden creature,
but I've got a few too horrible to view
  that the auther dare not feature.
Anaconda centipedes, kamukazi bumble bees,
  even a vampire robin.
I need a gun, not a spray to keep the pests at bay
  in my English country garden.

I realise that I will never be
  a vegetable grower,
so I've decided what I'm going to do
  and to hell with Percy Thrower.
Get a load of broken bricks, smother them in readymix,
  set it and let it harden,
And I'll cultivate a concrete estate,
  not an English country garden.

                                                               P.H.M.