There once was a man named Pooley,
Who shagged a hooker named Julie,
The smell of her twat
Clean blew of his hat,
And took the skin right off his left gooley.

There once was a man from the cape,
Who had sex with a Barbary ape,
The experience was horrid,
All arse and no forehead,
And bollocks the size of a grape.

There once was a man named Jimmy,
Who got with a girl named Kimmy,
Her twat was so wide,
She felt nothing inside,
And said his cock was too skinny!!