I have been extremely busy at nothing. I did so little in the past few months that I needed a vacation. Of course, when you do nothing all the time, the only way to really "get away" is at the Hotel de Ville. It's what all the cool middleagers around here are doing these days.

I managed to get a room on the weekend two weeks ago on just a few hours notice! I have to admit I was kinda sneaky about it. I went to the backdoor at 5AM and staggered in. As soon as the travel agent saw how cool I was, she she took my plastic and gave me the best seat in the house. Then, the manager asked me a few questions and took me straight to a private cubicle where I was immediately attended to by very professional staff dressed in smart uniforms.

They gave me a lovely, flowing frock, helped me onto a comfy spa table with crisp linen that smelled just so… "clean", and began to pamper me. They had a slew of hi-tech equipment that they used to assess my exact needs and brought in experts to ensure that these needs were taken care of "stat" (that's the kind of cool slang they use; it's a polite word for RFN). As I was completely worn out from doing nothing, rather than having me sit up and stay awake to take some special pick-me-up elixers, which would take longer to work , they hooked me up to three (three!) different IV's and told me to just relax. Boy oh boy, did I relax!

Within hours, I was wheeled to a corner room on an upper floor of a wing of the villa with a splendid panoramic view which included the parking lots – vehicles were lined up on the street, waiting for a space. I thought, "Gosh. This place is doing a LOT of business. I can't believe my luck!"

I got into my electric powered multi-positional bed and again I was attended to by staff who brought me drinks and snacks and pills to soothe my aches and pains. I even had an "electronic bell" that I could press for room service in case I needed anything "stat". Before I settIed in and continued my peaceful rest, I phoned my mother to tell her about my incredible luck. She was indeed surprised and asked if I needed anything to make my vacation better. Of course not! I was almost in heaven as it was.

After I slept for what seemed like a whole day, I met a lot of other cool "mids". We got along well and shared our tales of how we managed to get into such a swanky place. We talked and talked; so much so that the staff gave us some pills that really relaxed us.

Unfortunately, the next day, the bad news came. I was rested just enough to go home. I knew I would miss my new friends, the pampering and the gourmet cuisine, but, they arranged for me to be able to get more soothing pills after I left and gave me strict orders about continuing my rest at home. They even arranged for me to be checked up on by one of their senior booking agents in just about a week and told me that if I felt really tired, come on back right away. It would be hard for me to do less than nothing, but, I was determined to try.

Now, you talk about luck! I went for the checkup and was told I needed more rest ASAP ("as stat as possible", I assume). The very next day, I was elated when a call came telling me that I was being booked for another stay. And, these guys are dead serious about it, not to mention thorough. I go back on Tuesday for pre-vacation registration and further needs assessments with even more hi-tech equipment. Then, on Friday, I go back for the the full treatment.

I don't want to get my hopes too high, but, I might be so peaceful that I won't even know where I am or what's going on until Sunday. They are so committed to getting me rested up that they said I would be their guest for "as long as it takes". And, even after I leave, I can't drive for two weeks from Friday, I can't engage in any physical labour for at least six weeks, including light housework, I will still be able to get more pills for as long as I need, and a bunch of other stuff that they will tell me when my vacation is over.

I have needed this rest since August 17, so I am looking forward to Friday with great anticipation. Of course, since I was doing so little for so long, I have a lot of things to do before then. But, that will just make my time off even more relaxing.

Gee, typing all this has tuckered me out. Time for a nap.

Before I go… I imagine some of you are wondering how you could get away. Well, you could try this
. Worked for me.