So, there's a rock blocking your spit glands. Buddy, have I got a deal for you!

You come out here and I'll take you up to the Legion Hovel. You can have all the beer and whisky (or whiskey) you want and when you swell up we'll have Little Max (6'8" and he does his own dental work by driving a 10-penny nail into his jaw and grinding it to a point when a tooth falls out) do one of those lithothingies that break up stones in the body on you. Little Max LIKES to do that kind of surgery. Guy who had kidney stones had it done and we haven't heard a peep out of him about them kidney stones for a couple of years. In fact, he hasn't said anything about anything, not even what the roots of the grass looks like from his new perspective.

And you only have to pay for the beer and stuff. Little Max don't charge a thing for doing the lithothingy cuz he thinks it's a public good deed.

Come on out, we even got an airport and at least half the runway is graveled over now!