Dale here, on gnu's computer. Hey, Cletus! Merry Ho Ho and all that eh! We was gonna come visit you and yers after we went ta see Shane in Uppity Canada but after we got the truck outta the pound we went on a tear and landed up in uniform agin.

Them there Yella Stripes has got it in fer us. We wasn't doin nothin fer them to pull us over but the tags were axpired and when we got pulled over the Royally Mounted said he smelled beer. I told him it musta been from before it got pounded what froze up and then thawed when we lit the birch bark up ta defrost the windas. He couldna smelt no beer on us cause we was drinking vodka and OJ fer just that very reason. I wouldn't blow so he says I gotta go. Took my keys n all.

Course, soon as I was in the unit, the boys fired up the truck, what don't need no key, and proseeded ta follah us. Like I told ya, them Stripers ain't none too warm on us and so he stops an pulls over the boys and calls a tow. At least we got to stay in the same jail agin, fer a while that is, until after the fight.

Anyway, I come ta Moncton fer ta do some Kissmeass shoppin and find out that gnu at the doc's, gettin more tests on accounta bein on them there anit-Beotuck drugs for way too long. Why anyone would be agin Newfie Injuns, er, First Nations Peoples of Newfoundland, scuse my igorance, in the first place, I dunno. Anyway, he mighta got that there golightus from the drugs, on accounta he has loose bowels and spends a lot a time doin crossword puzzles, ya know what I mean? I think he's just full a ya know what eh. I think he spose ta git some liver er somethin at the same time. I guess his doc is a butcher, too.

Anyway, I needed some more cash fer ta git some stuff fer under the tree and found out gnu was at the doc's, so it worked out good. I don't hafta borrow no coin from gnu on accounta his freezer is full of stuff and as long as it stays cold as Aunt Sally, rest her soul, I kin just put the stuff I got under the tree and cover it with snow. I got lots a beer in fer the Hollerdays so I can pee all around the tree often enuff to keep the hungryest coyotes and such from gittin at it.

Well, I gotta git before gnu gits back… he don't know I got outta jail yet. Otherwise, he'da put a better lock on the back door.

Stop the puck first and worry about the pain later eh. I'll see ya when I see ya.

PS Say HI to Shane fer me eh. I keep callin but some lady just says the number has been disconeckted every time I call and I am runnin out of elecktrickal box blanks.