One of Bert's best tales was 'The Sleeve Job'. It was about a sailor who hears about a young lady who can perform a legendary erotic act. He goes off in search this person, hoping that he can persuade her to perform 'The Sleeve Job' on him. He very nearly achieves his ambition ...

I do know of a recording of this tale, but it doesn't belong to me, and I'm not sure that it could easily be made available.