Aw gee gnu, sorry to hear that you have to go under the knife because of your chipmunk impersonation, but that's what you get for stuffing your nuts in your cheek.
Old cow that I am, it was with some alarm that I noticed a couple of weeks ago, that a part of my anatomy was no longer relatively symetrical either and that my right tit had suddenly regained a more robust, youthful, perky appearance.
As it has been many years since I've been freshened, it was with considerable surprise and relief to discover I had mastitis and fortunately my right tit was soon deflated to match my left, with a round of antibiotics.
I promise to think of you, when they crush my boobs between two glass plates again next week.