Geez, sounds like some friends of mine... Sorry this is so darn long; it just grew!Lin
PISTOL PACKIN' MAMAS
(with apologies to Al Dexter)
Four big guys in a cop shop,
Shakin' hard with fright,
Said a little ol' gal done stole their ride,
At the grocery store tonight.
She yanked her rod and made some threats
And the boys left on the run.
Her permed gray hair blew back in the breeze
They made just gettin' gone.
CHORUS:
Oh Lay that pistol down, babe,
Lay that pistol down,
Pistol packin' mama,
Lay that pistol down!
Shirley and Jeune were on patrol
Relivin' Gray Panther days,
With the siren howlin' at 60 per
And the flashin' lights ablaze.
They saw a Safeway up ahead,
And decided to make a stop
For some Fix-a-Dent and some Geritol
And some diet soda pop.
(CHORUS)
They caught the scene in the parkin' lot
With Thelma and her gun
Groceries scattered on the macadam
And four guys on the run.
Shirley could barely see over the wheel,
But Jeune was naviagatin'
"Turn right!" she yelled, "No, your OTHER right!"
Shirl went left, no hesitatin'.
(CHORUS)
A pickup comin' the other way
Slammed on his brakes too late.
The squad car skidded across the road
Abandoned to its fate.
The C.O.P.s they kept their heads,
Jeune reached into the back.
And while Shirley talked on the radio,
Jeune got the shotgun from the rack.
(CHORUS)
It was showdown time at the old Safeway
Three seniors filled with pluck!
Wavin' firearms at whatever moved,
If they lived, it'd be just luck!
Then the fire truck came screamin' in
And a SWAT team in a van,
And a lawyer chap from down the street,
And that's when it hit the fan.
(CHORUS)
The ladies they all turned around
To see what was the matter.
And all those men as they hit the ground
Made an awful clatter.
Then Shirley cried out, "Why Thelma Smith!
Oh Lordy, is that you?"
And Thelma looked and squinted hard,
And said, "Well hi, you two!"
(CHORUS)
So by the time their rescuers
Had staggered out from cover,
The ladies had their stories straight,
The crisis was all over.
They took the gals into custody
Cause they'd been runnin' wild
But the Terrible Three, well, they went free—
Sarge said, "No charges filed."
(CHORUS)