Here's my song again, with the words a bit modified, and some chords (not that that's much indication of a tune) - but it also fits well enough to Johnson's Motor Car, which is appropriate enough, since they are both songs about a car getting hijacked.

When (G)Granny went out shopping, she did not (D)expect to (G)find
that her car was full of strangers of the most suspicious (D)kind -
but her (G)heart it did not falter, her courage did not (C)fail -
the (G)female of the species is more (F)deadly (C)than the (G)male.

So she fixed those bold intruders with a piercing scornful glance
and she pulled a pistol from her bag, and boldly did advance
and they looked at her in panic, and each one of them turned pale -
for the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

And they leapt out and they scattered, like a flock of frightened sheep
And Granny stood in triumph, with her shopping in a heap
and she thought in modest pride about the way she'd tell the tale -
of how the female of the species was more deadly than the male.

So she reached into her bag again, pulled out a bunch of keys,
and she pushed the key into the lock - and her heart began to freeze
for the key it would not fit, and all at once she felt so frail -
and the female of the species blushed more redly than the male.

And parked there just alongside was a car, looked just the same,
and the other car was her car, and the shameful truth was plain
she had stolen those poor fellows car, and she gave a little wail.
Sure the female of the species must be headed for the jail.

But Granny did not panic - so she went to tell the law
all about the thing that she had done - and in the station house she saw
those four big men, all shaking as they told their dreadful tale
about the female of the species, far more deadly than the male.

May 1st 2000