"...the discussion in this thread is just a disagreement about the meaning of a whole lot of words."

well, not 'quite' that narrow, but close. There's even a technical word for aspects of that situation: equivocation. If we don't agree on definition & meaning, we can hardly debate 'reality'.

For a detailed (and convoluted) theory of how the mind does or doesn't create reality, delve into the writings of David Hume. He insists his logic is air-tight,(and many philosophers agree) but admits in a footnote that even he can't usually act as though it is also 'true'.....this footnote is a pretty important point.