Kat . . .

You're doing a pretty fine job, to judge by the sample. I had to look carefully to notice the editings, and that is very much as it should be. I would be careful about the brackets. Last resort kind of thing. Particularly when overused, they intrude on the story and displace the reader from the satory-teller, achieving exactly the things we're trying to avoid. (I didn't find anything in the sample confusing enough to warrant that.) I would only use the brackets for one thing -- and that's as an indicator that more careful copy-editing is required.

Another caution would be to avoid making unnecessary editings. For example, in the first sentence you edited "moved by wagon train to Leadville, Colorado" to "moved to Leadville, Colorado, by wagon train." No particular harm done in that sentence, of course. The conern is that over the full course of the longer piece, those kind of subtle influences from the editor can impact how we hear the speaker as we read.

Hey, when you're all done, let someone test read it and point out anything in the piece that detracts from their reading and enjoying it.

Again, best of luck. -- Rob-O