The best version which I have heard dates back to the early to mid seventies by Jasper Carrott.

A wee heavy and a half pint, 2 nips of gin, 3 black and tans, 4 double diamonds, 5 babychams, 6 shots of brandy, 7 Carlsberg lagers, 8 'bloody' vodka and limes, 9 halves of shandy, 10 pints of bitter, 11 Bass blue labels, 12 alkaseltzers.

He loses it at '8' and calls his true love a 'silly old hag' misses out parts in his stupour and deviates into 'hey jude' and 'show me the way to go home' before getting back on track but mixes them all up. At eleven he falls off of his stool, and twelve is the 'oh god' of hangovers!

All of the way through he plays his own accompaniement on his guitar and even manages to make that sound drunk by missing notes and getting stuck in a loop, and then screaming at it to slow down when he loses time and misses out parts of the song to try and catch up.

I only have an old version on cassette and do not know if it is available anymore, but it is well worth a listen and superior to the other takes I have come across.