Get a couple friends. Put some warm stew in a bladder or plastic bag, sticking the bag under your shirt and the opening up near your collar. Go to a bar with your friends. Have a beer and when you finish say, "I...I don't feel so good" and squeeze the bag or bladder so warm stew cascades all over the bar. At this point your friends must pull out spoons and start eating the stew spew. Usually this will clear out the bar and the barkeep may well punch you in the nose.