AND............................


An elderly Scotsman lay dying in his bed.

While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the
aroma of his favourite biscuits wafting up the stairs. He gathered his
remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with
even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled
downstairs.
With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the
kitchen.
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in
heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were
literally hundreds of his favourite biscuits, freshly baked.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Scottish
wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table,
landing on his knees in crumpled posture. His aged and withered hand
trembled towards a biscuit at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly
smacked by his wife with a spatula.............

"Fuck off" she said, "they're for the funeral."