Mary Ann, Mary Ann,
Let us do our loving on the five year plan.
We'll take a little cottage
Not very far from town,
We'll have a lot of fun because there'll be no one around.
Mary Ann, Mary Ann,
We'll both be as loving as we can.
A room for you,
A room for me,
I'll see that they are bright'n'
Don't be afraid of burglars-
I'll have the windows tightened,
And you can knock on my door any night you're feeling frightened
Wouldn't it be lovely Mary Ann.



Mary Ann, Mary Ann,
Let us do our loving on the five year plan.
We'll both go off to business
Every morning, 'twill be fine,
I'll bring my wages home
And maybe you'll put yours to mine.
(VARIATION: And you can put your bit to mine.)

You say you cannot sleep at night,
Your bed is no temptation,
Say the word and marry me
And I'll be your salvation.
I'll take your Horlicks up to bed
And I'll stop your night starvation -

Mary Ann, Mary Ann,
Let us do our loving on the five year plan.
If you leave me then you'll be free,
There's no need to divorce me.
I'll let you have the children too.
You wouldn't have to force me.

Mary Ann, Mary Ann,
We'll both be as loving as we can.
You'll feel a little strange at first,
But then you needn't bother,
As long as you can get a few
Good wrinkles from your mother,
And go back home again
When we get tired of one another-
Wouldn't it be lovely Mary Ann?

Mary Ann, Mary Ann,
We'll both be as happy as we can.
The coffee beans each morning
For your breakfast I will grind up,
Before I go to bed I'll bolt the door,
The clock I'll wind up,
And that will give you tons of time
For you to make your mind up-
Wouldn't it be lovely Mary Ann.

from The Max Miller Blue Book

Merry Christmas- Geoff