"please, don't tell me to attach the strap to the headstock, that is not an option for a style victim like what I am ..."

I've always tied my strap to my headstock (just above the nut and under the strings). I didn't realize there was anything un-stylish about this, and always assumed it was the normal procedure with acoustic guitars, which don't come with an upper strap button built into their bodies. My assumption about those who wanted to add such a button was that they were players who started out playing electric instruments and therefore became accustomed to "feeling" the strap in a familiar position.

I know that I feel just slightly uncomfortable/disoriented when I borrow a guitar both ends of whose strap are attached to the soundbox. It's just a different feel, not what I'm used to. Stands to reason that a player similarly accustomed to the other arrangement would prefer their way just as strongly and just as irrationally.