On a lighter note....

I had a neighbour who owned an imbecilic Pit Bull, who couldn't even walk down a flight of stairs without tripping and falling down. He had an "I Love My Pit Bull" tee-shirt, too.

One day he went on vacation and asked me to walk the beast once a day. I'm too nice. Every day I took the thing out and endured the angry glares of passersby, as it lunged against its leash in a fury against all living things. I wanted to yell "Not mine! Not mine!", but who would have believed me?

The beast was lonely, of course, and when I got it home it would attempt to prevent me leaving by force! The only way to get out was to toss a piece of meat into the kitchen, and when the creature ran for that, I ran for the front door. I'd slam the door behind me, just in time to hear the thing crash head-first into the door behind me.

I have had two very lovely Guinea Pigs as pets, which are affectionate, docile, and have never bitten anyone. On the other hand, they're useless at scaring burglars.