Most 3 year-olds aren't affected by reason. Speaking only for myself, I got spanked when I knew better. As an older child, I could and would have ignored a parent talking at me. Really, if that's the worst punishment I'll get...

Kendall, your tactic wouldn't have worked on me. If my dad had said that, I would have thought he was kidding around and what I'd done wasn't serious. On the other hand, if I'd believed him, I would have been traumatized far more than from the spanking.

The thing with the bootie-slap was that it happened fast, I got my negative reinforcement, then it was over and done with - no lingering repercussions at all. I was confident I knew how to avoid making the same mistake and my parents treated me as if they knew that.

It might be helpful if folks who don't believe in spanking give their chosen form of negative reinforcement. You tell your kid not to throw stones at his little sister because he could seriously hurt her. You reason. He does it again. What do you do when reasoning doesn't work?