Gentlemen and ladies,
I saw the title of this thread yesterday and, having just dealt with a computer crash, the NY Penal System, and my father's surgery, I was not up to playing the role of anonymous supporter to some poor soul who had just undergone a mastectomy. What a shame I didn't check in sooner - I needed a laugh.
First, to the problem at hand. The Amazons suffered a similar problem with bow strings thwacking unsuspecting breasts at very inopportune times. They took the utilitarian approach and cut the left one off. Amazon is from the Greek roughly translated "breastless". Just a tried and true suggestion.
Next, thank god I am not alone in this. The damn things are always in the way! Try sitting at a diner booth designed for 28AAs. Mine serve as serving platters. And to add insult to injury, my nipples are inverted - they're useless!!!!
Pet names: Flopsy, Mopsy, and... My brother calls them the "Bad Boys" because they refuse to behave. Just the thought of running for a bus is frightening. Without a feat of engineering to control spring and list, I could lose a tooth or my balance.
Last, two suggestions for the GGG Auxiliary: 1. There very own "grow-up" doll with crankable boobs. 2. A pair of falsies for whenever they need a "quick fix". 3. Their name on any two of the following mailing lists: 1. Junonia 2. Silhouettes 3. Just My Size 4. Lane Bryant