What a pitiful and pitiable excuse for invective from someone who claims to be "Shane." No, this is not the "Shane" of old, the "Shane" who...this impostor, this hypocritical blatherskite, this nattering nabob of nothingness who claims to be "Shane" is unworthy to lick up the beer drooled by the original "Shane" as he lay, grease covered, his head in the spitoon and his feet in the toilet in Tim Horton's donut shop in Blind River.

What a terrible thing it is to lose "Shane"! He was our rudder, our sea anchor against the vicissitudes of life, who kept us on course when the typhoons and gales would blow us hither and yon.

And now he's nonexistent.

Qu'elle fromage.