You know, I dislike birthday threads almost as much as Joe Offer. Wait a minute, that doesn't sound right. I mean I dislike birthday threads almost as much as Joe Offer dislikes them, not that I dislike Joe Offer almost as much as I dislike birthday threads. I like Joe Offer, I just don't like birthday threads. They make me uncomfortable.

See, it's usually hard to be witty or say something truly meaningful on a birthday thread. How many ways can you say "Happy Birthday!"? But it's bad manners to ignore someone's birthday completely, right?

So, here's the deal: If you will be having a birthday at some time during 2008, this thread is my birthday greeting to you. Happy birthday! Now I'm off the hook!

If you will not be having a birthday at some time during 2008, this thread is my message of condolence to your family. OBIT threads make me even more uncomfortable than birthday threads. Happy afterlife!