Charley, no point in joisting with a conspiracy buff unless you are a creative writer with unlimited imagination.
I'll quote a couple of verses from Dead Milkmen - and steal away to my condo in Dubai.

From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli
We are all tools of the conspiracy
From the littlest baby to the biggest V. I. P.
We are all tools of the conspiracy.

Run to the window, they're coming to get you
Hide in the basement, they're coming to get you
Don't go outside, no, don't let them get you.

Someone should tell you,
They own the CIA and the IRS
They tell us where to shop and how to dress
They own the workers, they own the boss
Theu know what's in the secret sauce
They own the drugs, they own the narcs
We all know they own Dick Clark
They own it all, they own everything
They write the songs that make the whole world sing.

Conspiracy Song.