annap: Thanks for the message. I think you were more generous than I would have been toward someone who said he killed babies and liked it. In college I nearly broke up with a girlfriend because she said draft resisters were cowards. Instead, she apologized, I forgave her, and we got married. Years later, we got divorced, over something that had nothing to do with Vietnam, but did have a lot to do with her lack of sincerity and commitment. Who knows, I might have avoided a lot of pain if I had followed my first impulse. You don't do yourself any favors by forming relationships with people whose values are much different from your own, or who have no values at all. I'm talking about REAL values, not just what kind of music you like.

The only time I ever got into a heated argument about Vietnam was with an old friend who totally surprised me by saying he thought Lieutenant Calley should not have been prosecuted. He was not saying they were prosecuting the wrong guy - he meant NO ONE should have been prosecuted. He said, "these things happen" in war and we should just accept them - I think he meant they should just be covered up. He was, technically speaking, a Vietnam veteran, but he spent his entire tour working in an office in Saigon. This incident changed my feelings toward this guy so much that I avoided seeing him for the next 3 years. (He lives in another city, so I wouldn't see him more than a couple of times a year anyway.) We have become friends again, sort of, but we haven't discussed war since then. If it weren't for the fact that his wife is also an old friend (she stayed out of the argument) I don't think I would bother with him.