The title of this thread caught my eye because I have a Rubber Duckie.

"Big Deal", you say. Ah, but mine is the real Rubber Duckie, from before they made them take the little noisemaker out of the bottom, that thing that makes the endearing "Squeak Squeek" that Kermit loves so much. Apparently, if one of these original ducks were were to be inadvertently de-squeaked by a kid, the unfortunate child might swallow the squeaker and croak.

For twenty years, my duck has followed me wherever I have gone. It can always be found by the edge of my tub. It has been chewed on by my dog and pecked at by my cockatiels. It no longer has the bloom of youth upon its "Gummi" feathers, especially towards the Rubber Duck's DA. How I got this duck is a tail of it's own.

Sesame Street was appearing at Boston Pops and we (WGBH) were to televise the event as has been customary for many years.

Someone at WGBH had an idea, "When Arthur Fiedler is conducting 'Rubber Duckie', on the final chorus, the orchestra members can reach down, pick up a squeaker duck, and make the noise at the appropriate musical, rhythmic moment. Sounds like fun, don't you think?"

As is always the case, carrying out a simple idea proves more complicated than it originally appears. In this case, when we put the ducks on camera under the lights for their obiligatory screen test, they were too light. The pale yellow was too much of a contrast for the cameras to handle against the dark orchestra member clothing. If we were going to use the duck idea, the producer had to find a way to "tone those ducks down".

A grip was sent outside of Sympony Hall with a can a can or two of Krylon black spray paint. The ducks, there must have been 50-60 of them, were spread out on newspaper. The black paint was sprayed into the air above them so that it would settle on the ducks in a light mist, just enough to mute the yellow but not enough to really change the color of these most flexible birds.

I know it sounds pretty Mickey Mouse but when we tested the ducks, they passed with flying monochromes. Now we broke the news to the orchestra members.

They were delighted - but for all the wrong reasons. It seems that under the musicians' union contract, the musicians would now be "doubling". Since they would be playing a second instrument for these eight squeaks, we would have to pay them for that and the bill for doubling the entire Pops Orchestra was far more than the producer would swallow. The hapless ducks were distributed to those crew members who were there for the shoot. Mine has been a constant companion since then and has now migrated with me all the way from Boston to California.

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A postscript: I don't want anyone to think this is disguised union bashing. If workers, even these artists, were not protected by collective bargaining, they'd be severely taken advantage of but whenever you make rules, you are going to have unforseen circumstances that may verge on the ridiculous. Hopefully, the results are humorous.