Here are some excerpts that I gleaned from sound samples and from quotes found on the Internet:

VERSE: I once loved a girl out in Flatbush.
She was a picture of beauty and grace,
But she thought kittens came from a cat bush,
And she never had heard of her space(?),
So I travel no longer to Flatbush,
Though the girl is both wealthy and pure,
For whenever I tried my desires to confide,
Her mind was upon her coiffure.

CHORUS: Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women:
They soften your heart till it melts,
And then at the critical moment,
They are thinking about something else.

VERSE: One weekend I rented a Packard
For a maiden of whom I was fond.
Her lips and her toenails were lacquered,…

CHORUS: Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women,
I repeat it again and again:
From Kalamazoo to Kamchatka,
The trouble with women is—men.