I'd rather be thrown naked in a vat full of pit vipers than go through all that.

That can be arranged, Monsieur 'Ack!! :D As for not trusting the institution of marriage, perhaps it is not among your best creative powers. All a good marriage is is a poem written by two people, the end of which is unknown, the beginning of which is forgotten, but the present page of which is a matter of complete creative focus, by both authors. That's all it takes -- the institution has nothing to do with anything; at best it adds inertial resistance to a downhill slide when the poets fail. At worst, it causes them to fail by overlooking who it is that writes the book.

But then, these may possibly be lessons you are too old to apply.
;>)

A