Your plea has touched my heart, Maeve (or rather my vanity). If I'd realised this thread would run, I'd have left out The 'African' in the title. So this isn't African.

In 2000, the same friend, Chris, was living in Australia. He commissioned me to collect a 1972 Laverda bike (non-runner) from a guy in France. We were to meet at Calais - but all was not straightforward. My email tells the story.


Chris,

Your new baby has arrived safely, and now resides in my workshop. The exercise was not without difficulty, and avoided disaster by a hair's breadth. I'll tell you the story as it unfolded.

To begin, as they say, at the beginning. I had hired a luton van with tail lift from 1700 yesterday to 1700 today. I didn't know how difficult it would be to handle the bike off the tail lift, and so when Pete offered to keep me company, I accepted gratefully. (Good decision No 1). At the weekend, Pete said there was a slight problem - he had to attend a funeral yesterday. However, the funeral was at Battle, Kent, and so at least he was in the right part of the country. Timing wasn't easy, but we arranged a number of possible meeting places, and used mobiles to co-ordinate.

I collected the van, loaded up ropes, pieces of timber, cot mattress and tools for use in securing the bike, a couple of pillows for Pete & I to sleep in the van, and a rucsac to carry any parts. I met Pete at Newbury services, and we arrived at Dover about 23:30. Collected our tickets for the 0615 ferry to Calais and the 0930 return, parked the van in the convenient long term car park , and settled down to snatch some sleep. We slept fitfully, and were both wide awake at 0415. We decided to go over on the earlier ferry (Good decision No 2), expecting Francois to arrive about 0815.

At 0800, I explored the terminal layout and discovered that I would have to push the bike about 400m out through the car park, and 400m back to the check in kiosks, then about 800m down to the ferry berth. At least it was all fairly level, and I should have about 25 minutes to do it. At 0830, there was still no sign of Francois, and I decided to walk out to the car park entrance to intercept him and reduce the distance I had to push (Good decision No 3). At 0835, Francois arrived bike in tow behind car filled with wife?, large dog and a number of boxes. Brief discussion confirmed that most of the boxes were for us, and that carrying all that lot over 1km was not very practical.

   Francois was late because they had set out yesterday afternoon, and the car had broken down on the way. After getting it repaired, they had slept in the car, and driven directly to the terminal.

I asked at the information desk whether there was any alternative, and they said Francois could bring the car and trailer down to the berth. He confirmed the details, and we moved the dog into the boot, Pete into the back seat with our rucsacs and a couple of boxes, and me in the front seat with a large, but light, box on my lap. (This is either the new screen or fairing - I haven't had chance to look yet.) Arriving at the berth, we unloaded the bike and started to sort out the boxes of bits. After 2 minutes, we were harassed by the loading crew, who wanted us on board in 5 minutes.

There were too many bits for 2 of us to carry, and I left it to Francois to give me those which he thought were worth while. I loaded my rucsac with a pair of forks, the dynamo, regulator and sundry other bits, totalling 20kg. Pete put a number of smaller parts in his bag, and carried the box with the fairing/screen under one arm, and the battery in a plastic bag in the other hand. Francois handed me all the documents, wrote you a receipt, and accepted the cheque. We bid a hasty farewell as a young woman with a handset said "Two minutes - after that the next ferry is from Zeebrugge". The French fisherman were starting a blockade of the ferry ports to protest over the cost of fuel.

I gave Pete the pit stand to carry with whichever limb he had spare, and off we went. I was too late to run the bike gently down to the lower car deck, and had to push up a steep ramp to the upper deck. The bike seemed fairly light - the rucsac on my back was the problem. We got on, the ramp was lifted, and the ferry was under way before the bike was strapped down. From meeting Francois to sailing was just 40 minutes - I don't think even you would have done better. The departure was well-timed - 15 minutes earlier than scheduled - and made us the last boat out of Calais today. One other ferry got into Calais as we left, and that's still there tonight.

There was one other bike on board - a 60's Vincent ridden by a German guy. It was his fourth Vincent, and he'd been riding them for 24 years. He was off to a Steam Fair in Dorset - he didn't seem to understand when I asked if the Vincent was steam-driven.

At Dover, things went smoothly, albeit slowly. I left Pete at the berth guarding the bike, rucsacs, boxes and battery while I went out and got a temporary pass to bring the van in and collect it all. We loaded up (a large closed van) and drove out without anyone asking to see passport, tickets, any other documents or the contents of the van. Arrived home about 1540, unloaded, showered, changed, took Pete home, fuelled and returned the van and went out to our cheese & wine evening. A good 24 hours!!

If Pete hadn't come, if we hadn't taken the earlier ferry, if Francois had been a little later - I'd have been 10 minutes later and missed the boat. I'd have been at Calais with a dormant bike, and no chance of a ferry until tomorrow at the earliest - from Zeebrugge. The hired van would have been clamped in the car park at Dover.

At home, Anne had heard about the blockade, looked up the details on Teletext, and panicked. Her main worry was that she didn't know where her passport and ticket was for Spain on Saturday. I could stay and rot in Calais - and you in Australia. This mood lasted half an hour until I phoned to say that we were heading out of Dover.

End of tale. I'll look through all the bits before Saturday, and send you a list. I will also add up the costs - there's no hurry about this, as we won't be back until 16/9. We leave home 1230 Saturday. And so to bed.

Regards

Phil