Why watches? Simple. First, you buy whatever it is they're selling to make your schlong the size of Secretariat's. Then you buy the Viagra they're selling so your new super-sized crank will inflate to truly enormous proportions and attain a hardness roughly equivalent to a 6 on the Mohs' scale. It's not unlikely that such a Gargantuan member achieving a full erection will use up so much of your blood supply that you'll pass out due to cerebral oxygen deprevation. The watch is so whoever finds you can take your pulse.