Why, Amos? ;-) I'll tell you why. Because my lyrical alternative version, "Sancho and Hefty", is way better than yours is, and I'd rather sing it instead. Your version, as I said, has moments of brilliance here and there, but it doesn't hold up overall. It's got sections that are really weak, both in regards to imagery and metre. It has poor structure. It has clumsy wording. It engages in puerile character attacks on people you know personally, while my song engages in social satire.

You need to churn out far less material than you normally do, cut out the dross and refine your approach. I would not sing your version because it's embarrassingly bad in spots. If you were to edit out about half of it and clean it up some, then you'd have something worth singing.

And for you to accuse me of "hate-filled venom-spewing" when you would go so low as to write a line about me having my thumb up my ass....well, that's just downright laughable. ;-D You are being unobservant of your own penchant for low-minded crudity, sir. It does not become you.

To paraphrase the immortal Bobert: "That owl won't hoot."