Well, I AM in Northern CA! Your friend will probably want to check with Molly or Linda before performing this one. I do believe that it is a Beggar original. Anyway, here goes:

THE FATHER SONG

My father came across the sea from Ireland.
He was quiet, but they say that he was wise.
He and mother did their best
To give us a roof and all the rest,
But to talk to us, he never had the time (had the time).
Sure, he'd say, “Pass the butter,” or “Come here, young girl,”
Or “Be quiet,” or “No, you can't have a dime,”
Until the day when I was leavin'
That he finally found a reason
For sharing his philosophy of life.
He said--

CHORUS: A monkey’s fart should smell like a banana.
English farts should smell like cups of tea.
The farting of a fairy
Should be very light and airy.
When a father farts, I hope you'll think of me (think of me).
An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter.
It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well.
A lion’s fart should roar with power.
Cuckoos should fart every hour.
A nun’s fart should have meaning but no smell.
A strong man’s fart should roar out like a trumpet.
A pretty girl's should barely even squeak.
But the person you can trust
Is the one who'd rather bust
Than ever let one rip right in the street (right in the street).

Well, from my old man, this really was an earful,
And I tried to understand just what he meant.
His words were primitive, but strong
So I wouldn't get them wrong.
He was saying to be careful as I went (as I went).
Remember who to look up to,
And whatever else I might do,
Remember that most of what you get from folks is just escaping gas.

CHORUS

Parenthetical repeats are done in harmony. Sorry for taking so long. The CD is "The Crayon Dozen" and you get it direct from the Beggars. Think they had a row with REC, haven't seen them perform in the past 2 years.